


Devil's Day

by PlotQueen



Category: Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter - Laurell K. Hamilton
Genre: F/M, because i'm pretty sure those flowers are bleeding, did someone leave me flowers?, except when it does, jeep abuse, running away never solves anything, stereotypical mazda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-01-01
Updated: 2000-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-15 19:47:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/531039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlotQueen/pseuds/PlotQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when Olaf comes to call? Nothing very good.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I needed a vacation.

It was as simple as that. Once upon on a time I’d promised Ramirez and myself that when I got home I’d take a vacation. But damn it, it was already Christmas and I was still neck deep in were’s and vampire’s.

And, unfortunately, the were’s and vampire’s were not Richard and Jean-Claude.

But one of those was about up be made up for. I had a date with Richard tonight. At his place. Bully for me.

I was wearing black jeans, a purple scoop neck tee, black nike’s with a blue swoosh, my shoulder holster complete with the Browning, my Firestar in the inner pants holster set for a right front cross draw, and two wrist sheaths with silver knives. I was feeling pretty secure so I left the spine sheath and it’s knife in the closet. 

I was just pulling on my new leather jacket, a Christmas gift from Jean-Claude, when the doorbell rang. It was Richard looking scrumptious in faded jeans and a green flannel shirt. He was picking me up for our date.

“Hi, Richard,” I said as he walked in.

He looked at me, his brown eyes making my heart and other things melt. His mouth tilted up in that smile that could only be labeled his as he said, “You look beautiful.”

I waved him into the living room while I went to grab my fanny pack and beeper from my bedroom. I still wasn’t used to this whole house thing, and it felt weird to have one. Oh well, just me rattling around in this big place. It did have its uses though. It could hold a lot of people and injured were’s. 

I walked back out to the living room where Richard was waiting for me. “Merry Christmas.”

Richard stood up fluidly, a thing that marked him for what he was to the trained eye, and held a hand out to me. I took it and he pulled me closer.

“Merry Christmas,” he whispered as he covered my mouth with his. The power of the marks flared between us and washed over me like a warm tingle. No, it was more hot than warm. I clamped down on the marks before the power took control. I didn’t want to have anything happen because of them. I wanted it to be just Richard and me.

Something told me he wanted it that way too, because I could feel him closing off his side of the marks. Jean-Claude had told me that Richard and he were working with Marianne, too. I guess it was paying off for all of us because it was surprisingly simple to do it.

I pulled away from Richard and just looked at him, drinking in the fresh smell of his soap, and beneath it, something more feral. It was pack smell. It was home.

I shook my head as I thought that. I was spending way too much time with Jason and Stephen. They had me thinking like a were sometimes. I wasn’t completely comfortable with it. Insecurity, maybe. Insecure. Who, me? Naw. 

I put my arm around his waist and we headed for the door. Then my phone rang. I turned to answer it but decided to let the machine get. A good idea, or so I thought. The machine picked up just as we hit the door, and I was surprised to hear the voice coming through the speaker. Certainly not someone I’d expected to hear from, except maybe for the wedding invitation’s that were due out soon.

“Ms. Blake? This is Donna Parnell. I’m calling about Peter and Ted, and what happened when you came to Santa Fe. If you’d give me a call….” 

I ran to pick up the phone tossing an apologetic glance at Richard. “Donna, this is Anita. What can I do for you? Are Peter and Ted okay?” I thought for a second that maybe Peter had become expendable to Edward, but just as quickly decided that that wasn’t the problem. There’d be tears if Edward had decided that.

“Anita, it’s good to speak with you.”

I got the feeling that it wasn’t, but didn’t say anything.

“I was wondering if you knew about what happened with Peter and Ted when you were here.”

What was she talking about? I couldn’t think of anything that would prompt a cross-country call when suddenly it dawned on me. Edward had finally pissed Peter off enough and he told his mom about the pictures. Shit.

“I assume you mean when… Ted let Peter see the pictures of the crime scenes.”

“You knew?”

She sounded angry. Shit. “Yes, I knew. I told… Ted it wasn’t a good idea, but you know Ted.”

“Apparently I don’t. I never thought Ted would do something like that.”

I closed my eyes as I thought of the things that I’d seen ‘Ted’ do. Flame-throwers came to mind, and it wasn’t a pretty picture. 

“Son of a bitch,” she said. Almost what I was thinking. She must be pretty mad to be cursing. I didn’t remember her saying anything like that during my stay with Edward and his family to be.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” And I was. But I knew then, like I knew now that if I had told her bad things would have happened.

“You know, Anita, I believe you. I didn’t believe Peter when he first told me. That’s why I called. I wanted to know from someone else. Not Peter, and I couldn’t say anything to Ted without knowing first.”

I was beginning to wonder what she was getting at. She didn’t sound too disappointed to know that Edward would do something like this. Except she knew good old boy Ted who’d never do a thing like this. 

“And now I know.”

“Know what?” I wanted to know what she was talking about. Hell, I was dying to know.

“Now I know that Ted isn’t the same man I fell in love with.”

Edward must be slipping. Somehow Donna Parnell, the ultimate new-age mother, had figured out the man she was engaged to was not a loving, kind, good man. Or at least I was hoping that’s what she’d figured out. 

“What are going to do?” Another thing I was dying to know. 

“Call the engagement off, for starters. And tell Ted he can go to hell. I can’t believe he’d let a fourteen year old boy, a child, see such horrible things!”

She was more than mad. She was pissed. 

And I can’t say I wasn’t happy about it. It’s not like Edward could settle down with Donna and her family. People like us don’t settle down. At least not with normal people. I was beginning to have my doubts about not settling down with Richard. He wasn’t human. He was a werewolf, Ulfric, and I was beginning to think he wasn’t cannon fodder anymore. 

So my dream, or nightmare, was beginning to come true. I wanted to settle down. Shit. This was not good. Me, wanting to settle down. Not with the working husband, stay home wife, two point whatever kids, dog, white picket fence type settle down, but I still wanted to settle down. 

This was definitely not good.

I shook myself out of my thoughts of blissful wedded-ness and turned back to the angry women who was thousands of miles away. “I’m sorry to hear that.” No I wasn’t. I was so happy I wanted to dance in circles. Edward said he couldn’t back out, but he hadn’t said anything about being kicked out.

A huge smile crossed my face and Richard looked at me, his eyes silently asking what was going on. I waved him off, gesturing that I’d tell him in a minute.

“Don’t be, Anita. I think it’s been coming for a while, now.” Her voice was soft and sad, and I felt genuine pity for her. A socipathic bastard had duped her into love, and I was hoping that when she told him it was over she’d hit him. Several times, even. He’d deserve each one and more.

“Thank you, Anita. You’ve really helped me.”

We said our good byes and then hung up. Richard was sitting on the couch when I turned to him, waiting patiently for the story.

“Not bad news, I take it?” he stood and walked to me with the uncanny grace all lycanthropes have.

“Yes and no, but more good than bad,” I said as I snuggled into the arm he wrapped around my waist. We headed for the door.

“A friend just told me that she was breaking off her engagement.”

“And that’s not bad?”

“Nope. Not when the man is a sociopath.” I didn’t say it was Edward because truthfully, I wasn't sure that Richard needed to know any of Edward’s private life. 

“So your friend did it because?” His voice had that lilt that made it a question, and I was surprised to find I’d missed that about his voice. Hell, I’d missed just hearing it.

“I think my friend realized what he was.” I was surprised as I realized that I considered Donna a friend. Albeit one who couldn’t stand violence, and would most likely run screaming if she watched me do my job, but a friend nonetheless. 

Richard shrugged and cleared his throat like he was going to ask more. But he didn’t. Mucho brownie points for him. He knew me well enough to know I didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

We stopped outside my door and I locked it. He cleared his throat again and I looked at him questioningly, but he shook his head. He wasn’t going to say more on the matter, and neither was I.

Life was good.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up with the sun in my eyes. Sun. There wasn’t sun at my house, not with the drapes I special ordered to keep the inside a nice, cool twilight. Where the hell was I?

I opened my eyes just a little bit and found myself looking into the warm, brown, awake eyes of Richard. He was smiling and the clock on the nightstand just past his head said that it was just after eight.

Richard’s a morning person. Have I mentioned I’m not? Oh well, we can’t all be perfect.

I rolled out of bed, Richard’s bed, and headed for the kitchen. I could smell the sweet aroma of real coffee brewing. Richard doesn’t drink coffee but he always kept some around for when I was over. I poured myself a cup into a blue mug with penguins on it and stirred in some sugar and real cream, another of my influences on his kitchen supplies.

Richard walked past me and into the kitchen. He began frying some eggs and I finally noticed how quiet he was. Quiet is Richard, but not when it’s just him and me. We usually talk a lot, even if it’s only one-word sentences. I was trying to think of what could be wrong when he turned to me.

“You said another man’s name last night in your sleep.”

I shrugged. “I don’t recall Jean-Claude invading my dreams last night. Actually, I don’t recall having any dreams last night.” I looked up at him. His eyes were dark and full of pain. 

“You said ‘Edward.’ Who’s Edward to you?”

I’d said Edward’s name in my sleep? Santa Fe must have gotten to me more than I thought. I hadn’t had any nightmares about Santa Fe that I could recall, except maybe the fact that I died three times. But that was more of a waking nightmare.

So why the hell had I said Edward’s name? I hadn’t seen him since the day I left and honestly, I hadn’t really thought of him or the whole Donna thing. Maybe a few times. But since I couldn’t offer any real help on his problem, I just let it go. After all, I had my own problems with my personal life.

But now the whole Donna problem was solved.

I smiled a little and looked at Richard. He looked worried. Smiling while he was insecure was not a good thing. “Edward is a friend, Richard.”

He looked at me for a moment longer, his face serious, and then he smiled. I smiled back and he whistled as he went back to his cooking.

Actually, there was one thing about my time in Edward’s life that bothered me.

Olaf. 

Not that I’d seen him. Not that I’d heard from him. And for that I was immensely grateful.

I’d taken Edward’s advice from the first time I was in the hospital, the time I died. I lit a few candles and said my thanks for my return from the dead. Then I’d said a private prayer and lit another one. So far it was working.

Olaf was nowhere to be seen and I was waking up with the man I love. 

Life was good.

It would have been better if the phone hadn’t ringed. 

Since Richard was cooking I answered it. The second I did I wished I hadn’t. It was Edward.

“Anita,” he said. His voice was calm and neutral.

“Edward. How long have you been in town?”

“Since this morning.”

This morning. Gee, I wondered if it had anything to do with Donna. I grinned and couldn’t keep my voice empty when I spoke. “What brings you to this neck of the woods, Edward?”

He was silent for a moment, then “I should be angry with you.”

Edward? Angry with me? Naw.

“I only told the truth. That’s more than I can say for you… Ted.” Low, yes. Spiteful, definitely. But it was fun. It wasn’t often that I had one up on Edward. I was going to enjoy it while it lasted.

He didn’t say anything.

“Are you here because of that, Edward? Because of Donna?”

He didn’t answer immediately but he finally said no.

“Then why are you here?”

“Olaf paid me a visit last night.”

My blood ran cold.

“Anita,” he said. His voice was soft. I remembered the last time I’d heard him speak like that. It had been when he called in his favor. Edward’s voice, Death’s voice, was telling me he was scared.

So was I.

Olaf was a murderer, a rapist, and a deranged psycho. Compared to Olaf, Edward was Mr. Rogers. But Edward was a better killer. He could take Olaf easily. So what was he afraid of?

I remembered when he had touched my hand. That day in the hospital, before we went to see Nicky Baco, he’d touched my hand and said, “Some things I’m not willing to pay.” He wasn’t scared for himself. He was scared for me. 

That was too creepy. While I was there he also said I was his soul mate. Like I said, creepy.

“So Olaf’s in Santa Fe. That’s a long way from here.” My voice held the certainty that Olaf wasn’t anywhere near me. It also held the fear that he was on his way.

Edward didn’t say anything. I started to worry. Richard had finally caught on that something was wrong; I guess my face was a little whiter than usual, and had come over to the phone. Or maybe he just came over to bring food since there were two plates in his hands, and both were full of scrambled eggs and crispy bacon. Yummy.

He set them down on the bar and rubbed my shoulders while I waited for Edward to say something or hang up. If he kept up with the long silences I might hang up instead of waiting. It was getting annoying and tedious, considering the topic of discussion.

And it was scaring me. “Edward?”

Richard tensed behind me and his hands dropped away from my shoulders. I guess he was still insecure about the whole Edward thing. 

“Olaf’s in St. Louis.”

I dropped the phone.

Richard picked it up while I sat in my chair hyperventilating. Probably not the best idea he’d ever had, because he started talking to Edward. I just sat there, shaking and lightheaded. 

Olaf was in St. Louis. This was not a good thing. It was a very bad thing. A very, very bad thing. 

Richard hung up the phone and turned to me. His eyes were hard and angry. Now why would he be angry with me? Especially when I had just been told that my life was in danger. Okay, maybe not danger. I could kill Olaf. The question was would I have the chance to kill him, or was he going to lurk around and kill me when I was looking the other way?

Richard picked up his glass of tea and took a long drink. I watched the glass. There were spider web designs forming on it. When he sat it down on the table the glass shattered, spraying drops of tea across the bar, Richard, and me. He was definitely angry.

I opened my mouth to ask what was wrong but he beat me to it. “Edward’s just a friend?”

“Yes.” The answer was quick and unhesitant. I didn’t have to think about it.

“Then why is he calling you here? And why is he meeting you at your house tonight at six?” 

Ah, this would explain why Richard’s was angry. He thought I had lied and was going on a date with Edward. Gross. The thought of going on even one date with Edward was just gross.

“Have I ever given you a reason to think I was sleeping around?” Richard didn’t answer. “Edward called here to tell me something that could save my life, and he’s coming to my house to help me stay alive. There is nothing devious going on here.”

I got up and went to his bedroom. I had my jeans and shoes on and was searching for my shirt when he walked on. His body was rigid but his eyes were soft and I think a little sad.

“I’m sorry, Anita.”

“I know, Richard.”

I found my shirt and pulled it on. I didn’t bother tucking it in and shoved the firestar and inner pants holster down the front of my jeans. The Browning and its rig went on and then I strapped the wrist sheaths on. Last came my jacket, still smelling new. I turned to Richard, who was watching me with apprehension.

“I’m going home, okay Richard?”

“You’re mad with me.”

“No, I’m not.”

I grabbed my fanny pack with the beeper hanging off the strap and pulled my keys out of it. I had to make some phone calls when I got home, and I wanted to make sure that Bert wasn’t expecting me tonight. He was, but he was just going to have to stop. My life is more important than my job, and if he wanted me to continue working for him I was taking the night off to make sure I’d be alive to work.

Richard walked me to the door and hugged me. No kiss. Strange, he usually kissed my goodbye. Oh well, no time to worry about that. I had more important things to worry about.

Like where Olaf was.


	3. Chapter 3

Edward showed up promptly at six wearing black jeans that looked new, well worn hiking boots, a white tee, and black over shirt. Typical ‘Ted’ clothes if I recalled. I was betting he had just thrown some stuff in a bag and taken off after Donna gave him the boot. I didn’t see any weapons but I was betting he had at least two guns and a knife, maybe something fancier on him somewhere. But it was kind of hard to see past the long box he was holding.

“Edward, you shouldn’t have,” I said as he handed me the box. It looked like the kind of box you’d get flowers delivered in, except that it was wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper. Blue with penguin’s ice-skating across it. Cute. 

He stepped across the threshold. “I didn’t.”

You’d think he’d say more than a few words at a time. Oh well. I shrugged and went into the kitchen to open it. Inside were a dozen white roses with big splotches of red. “Nice,” I said as I lay the box down to get a vase. But who were they from? I wondered it out loud.

“Your vampire?” Edward suggested, but then shook his head and muttered, “No, he sends a dozen white and a single red.” 

“How do you know what Jean-Claude sends me?”

Edward smiled and his baby blues sparkled. “I have my ways.”

I snorted as I filled the vase I’d retrieved with water. Edward suggested Richard as I picked the roses up. I shook my head no and turned to the sink. 

Something was wrong. Warm and thick, the roses were dripping down my hand. I looked down at the flowers. Suddenly the red on their snow-white petals became too bright. It was blood, and it was still warm. “Edward,” I choked out as I threw the roses into the sink.

He looked at my hand and then looked at the box. He picked it up and handed it to me. Inside nestled with some bloody tissue paper was a heart. A human heart. Believe me, I’ve cut out enough hearts to know what one looked like. I dropped the box and steadied myself on the edge of the sink.

The world was spinning but I wasn’t going to throw up. It was just the realization of who had sent this to me. And Edward had read my mind.

He had his gun in hand, a .9mm Beretta, and was checking the front yard through the curtains. He had the right idea. The heart was still warm, which meant whoever the poor soul was, most likely a woman, they’d been killed within the last hour. He turned back to me and nodded his head to the back of the house. He was going to check it and make sure it was clear.

I nodded and pulled the Browning as he left through the archway to the living room. This wasn’t fun. I was alone in the kitchen standing next to a set of large windows. There was a flicker of movement through them and I jumped, the Browning aimed at the movement. It was just the wind in a bush. Silly me.

A hand grabbed my shoulder and I screamed as I turned around, the Browning already headed for the target. It was Edward. His gun was back in its holster. I put mine back and sat down.

“No sign of Olaf,” he said, like he was asking me to pass the salt. 

“He was here,” I said, and I stood up. Suddenly the room was much smaller than it had been a minute ago.

I steadied myself on my chair and grabbed the phone. Someone had died, that meant I called the police. Dolph picked up on the third ring and his voice was tinny. He was using his cell phone.

“Dolph, its Anita. Someone left me their heart for Christmas.”

Either Dolph was having a rough day or my joke was too normal. “Your vampire left you his heart? Great.”

There is nothing worse than having a friend and colleague make nasty comments about an ex-lover. Except maybe having family do it.

“Dolph.”

“Anita.”

“Let me try this again. Someone left someone else’s heart at my door.”

It had to be a rough day, because he understood what I meant this time. He told me that a unit from Homicide would be at my house in twenty minutes, and that he’d be close behind. Very comforting. I sat down to wait.

An hour later I was still giving my statement to a rookie who was having me repeat everything I’d said. His partner had bagged the evidence and dusted for prints. Of course there’d been none. 

Edward was lounging on the couch while I was standing. He’d already given his statement. Lucky him.

We were going through my statement yet again when Dolph walked in. “Anita,” he said. His eyes wandered past me and his blank cop face came out like magic when he saw Edward sitting in my living room.

I finished my statement for the third time and the rookie and his partner left. I walked over to where Dolph stood.

“No one’s dead?” he asked. His voice neutral and his eyes were still on Edward. 

I don’t think he was too happy to see Edward. Probably because he was always around when bad things happened. “No,” I said and my voice just as neutral as his.

He frowned. Dolph frowning is something that makes bad guys cringe and want to tell the truth just to get out of the same room as him. He was 6’8” and built like a wrestler, broad shouldered and tough.

He looked at Edward again and asked, “What’s he doing here?”

Nope, definitely not happy to see Edward. Edward looked back at him, and his face was blank. This could get ugly fast. I looked at Dolph, then at Edward, then back to Dolph. Things could definitely get ugly.

“We were going to dinner.”

Dolph looked at me oddly. I don’t think spending my personal time with Edward was any better then spending it with Jean-Claude in his eyes. Oh well.

He asked me about the flowers and the heart then, all business, and I told him. When we finished he looked at Edward again. Talk about subtle. Dolph left and Edward looked at me.

“Dinner?”

“Yeah, well it was the first thing I could think of.” My stomach chose that moment to growl and I remembered the scrambled eggs Richard had cooked and I’d never gotten around to eating. 

Edward stood fluidly. “You don’t say?” he said, his baby blues lively. 

It took me a moment to realize it, but Edward was making a joke. Stranger things have happened. I shrugged. “The last time I ate was yesterday.”

Edward smiled. “Then let’s eat.”

We went to McDonald’s and got drive through. I wasn’t much in the mood for being out in the open so we went back to my house and ate. While we ate we talked about Olaf and his gift to me, especially about the penguin paper. I’d decided that that was not a good thing. Olaf was spying on me. He had to be to know about my fondness over them because it couldn’t be a lucky guess.

Edward agreed. It didn’t make me feel any better. Olaf was watching me. How long had he been watching me? Not a happy thought.

“You should get out of town,” Edward said as I was throwing away the remnants of our meal.

“No.” my answer was automatic. I wasn’t going to let some psychotic bastard scare me into leaving. I had a life here, and friends. 

Edward didn’t push it. Either he didn’t think my need to leave was bad enough or he just didn’t want to waste time trying to convince me when my mind was made up. Guess which one I was betting on.

I’d brewed some coffee while we were eating so I poured two mugs. I handed Edward his, black, while I poured real cream and sugar into mine. My idea of heaven. 

“Where are you staying?” I asked. I was feeling generous, or maybe insecure. Edward said a hotel, and I decided that maybe it would be a good idea to have him stay with me. Olaf would have something else to go through before he got to me, that way, and I liked that idea. I offered him the guestroom.

Edward looked me strangely and stood. He rinsed his mug out and sat it on the counter next to the sink. He turned to me. “No.”

“What are you going to do?” I asked him, referring to Olaf.

“I don’t know.”

That was a first. Edward not having a plan was definitely a first.

“How long will you be in town?”

“I don’t know.”

Edward was acting decidedly strange.

“I’ll be here as long as it takes.” He turned to leave.

I followed him, mug in hand. It was my favorite mug, one with penguins on it. How embarrassing. Or it should have been. I didn’t care if Edward saw it. Funny, the only other people to see it were Ronnie and Richard. Not even Jean-Claude had seen my penguin mug.

He stopped at just outside the door and turned back to me. His face was blank once again, showing nothing. But his eyes weren’t their usual winter blue. They were, oddly enough, worried. Like Richard’s had been that afternoon when I told him what was going on. 

“Be careful,” he said. His eyes went back to their usual cold and distant state. Or maybe I was seeing things, because his voice was empty like always.

I nodded and he walked away. He was at his car, a rented green Mazda, when I called his name. He turned back quickly but stayed by the car.

“Is Olaf a spook?”

He shook his head.

I walked out to Edward and looked up at him. This wasn’t the same Edward I’d met five years ago. This was someone else. A friend, but one a barely knew, and sadly enough, one I knew better than anyone else knew him. He’d changed since I’d last seen him. His hair was longer and curled just a bit to brush the collar of his black shirt. He was still lean and dangerous, but his pale skin held a hint of sun in it. And his eyes didn’t hide so much from me anymore. 

I smiled as I realized that. For all of his mysteriousness, I knew Edward better than anyone else he knew. 

He looked at me oddly and his pale blue eyes flickered. Edward was struggling for his neutral face, his empty eyes, and little old me was responsible for it. Bully for me.

“Are you a spook, Edward?”

He smiled at me, but it was empty. Then he got in his car and left. Sometimes I think Edward doesn’t like me.


	4. Chapter 4

It had been over two weeks since I’d gotten my first gift from Olaf. I’d received two more. One had been a delicate hand, pale and graceful. Or it would have been if it were still attached to the owner. The second had been a foot. It wasn’t from the same woman as the hand. I needed to get out of the city according to Edward. But if he was worried about my safety, then I should be too. 

I was beginning to think Edward was right. I never really thought that having a personal key to the Circus of the Damned would do me any good, but I was glad to have it tonight. I’d holed up once in the basement of the Circus once before with Edward’s approval, so I’d hole up again. 

Or not.

As I opened the door there was a general sense of unease in the air. I don’t think it had been there before. More like it began when I showed up. Jason was lounging by the door to the lower level in black leather pants that looked like they’d been painted on and a pair of knee high leather boots. There was no shirt.

I headed for the door and Jason stepped in front of me. I was being kept from going down. Something was going on.

“Anita,” Jason said and his voice was low and urgent. He was definitely trying to keep me from going downstairs. 

I tried to play it off. “Jason, I came to talk to Jean-Claude about his Christmas gift.” I don’t know why I bothered trying that. Were’s can smell a lie, and I wasn't being miss truth. 

“Jean-Claude’s asleep Anita.”

He was trying to lie to me, too. Jean-Claude had been up for several hours. I knew because I’d felt the pull of the marks when he woke, in the few seconds there were before he roped them in. he was trying to hide something from me and I was betting that Jean-Claude had ordered him to do it. 

I wondered if he was with another woman. That was the most likely answer, but I didn’t see why it should matter since Jean-Claude and I had discussed the “us” that there used to be and was no more. It was now more of a ‘I’m his human servant who has free will and he’s someone I’ll kill to protect or avenge.’ Of course, the killing part was only because he’d made my personal list of people, excuse me, creatures and people I’d kill for.

We’d talked about the whole ‘love’ thing just before Christmas, when he gave me the jacket. He loved me, I loved him, but I was not ‘in love’ with him and he wasn’t ‘in love’ with me. That had made me wonder if he’d been looking for a replacement for the dead Julianna, but nothing was confirmed yet.

I tried to step around Jason but he wouldn’t move. This was getting tiring fast. Too fast. Olaf had my temper pretty short the last few weeks, but Jason pushed my limits, or at least what was left of them. I opened the marks between Richard and me and let his power fill me and spill over onto Jason, who stepped back from me and into the door to the lower level.

“You defy me, Jason?” I asked. I was hoping a little display of power would make Jason back down so that I didn’t have to hurt him. I try not to hurt people. If I’m going to hurt someone, I might as well kill them. That’s why I resort to other means of getting my will done: power plays, threats, whatever worked.

Jason kneeled before me, his eyes down in submission. “I’m sorry, my Lupa. I was told not to let anyone through.”

“I’m going downstairs, Jason. Don’t try to stop me.” I walked past him without a problem and headed down to Jean-Claude’s bedroom. 

The shock I felt when I entered his room was unequaled by anything I’d ever seen. I knew Jean-Claude had a liking for men, but I’d never had it shoved in my face. And apparently a master vampire could get too wrapped up in his… activities to pay attention to who was calling. Make that two masters. 

Jean-Claude and Asher were lying in a very rumpled bed. Asher’s head was on Jean-Claude’s stomach and Jean-Claude’s long white fingers were tracing circles on Asher’s shoulder. His other hand was touching Asher’s face, the side with the scars, and he was whispering to him softly in French. Asher’s eyes were closed but his cheeks were wet.

This wasn’t right. And I wasn’t talking about the fact that there were two men in bed in front of me. What wasn’t right was me intruding on this private moment between them. I backtracked out of there fast, hoping neither of them ever knew I’d seen, and I walked back into what I could only term as the living area, if that isn’t an oxymoron. 

Jason was in there, his eyes were dark with fear. He thought I was mad at him. I shook my head and walked over to him. Touch was important to were’s, I knew that from experience and from Marianne, so I slipped my hand in his. Not something I’d normally knew, but Jason didn’t know that Jean-Claude and I weren’t involved anymore. Only he, Richard, and I knew about the end of that because appearances had to be kept for the public vampire eye. If they thought I’d left Jean-Claude they’d see him as weak and challenge him. So we’d decided to keep it under wraps.

Jason relaxed when I touched him and I think he understood then what had happened. He was Jean-Claude’s lap wolf and he saw a lot of what happened. It didn’t take a lot of brains to put two and two together, and I knew Jason wasn’t stupid, so I didn’t explain anything. Jean-Claude walked out a moment later wrapped in a black silk robe that was tied loosely at the waist, framing his pale chest and the burn on his chest perfectly. 

Was it me or did he always dress to seduce?

I don’t know what he did but Jason started to leave and then looked at me for permission. I nodded and he left, quickly trotting up the stairs. I really have to learn this secret body language. 

“I am sorry you saw what you did, Anita.” He said my name. Damn, he was serious.

“It’s okay, Jean-Claude. It doesn’t bother me.”

And strangely enough, I meant it. It really didn’t bother me. Hell, I was happy that he and Asher were happy. Their being happy together didn’t bother me at all. That bothered me. Once upon a time I thought I was in love with him, and now he was sleeping with another vampire, a male vampire, more than ten times my age, and it didn’t bother me at all. 

Jean-Claude looked at me, his deep sapphire eyes wide with surprise. It’s not often I surprise Jean-Claude. “You walked out in quite a rush, _ma petite._ I did not think you like what you saw.”

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe they did want another Julianna. 

“I left because it was a private moment. Not something for me to see.”

He nodded. “What brings you to the Circus?”

What did bring me here? Oh yes, Olaf. Shit. I wasn’t going to stay here with Jean-Claude and Asher playing house. So I answered truthfully. “Nothing.”

He raised his eyebrows, creating midnight waves on his pale forehead, but didn’t question my answer. Good. I turned around and walked up the stairs. Jason was waiting for me.

“Anita, I’m sorry. You weren’t supposed to know. Richard told us….” He stopped mid-sentence. 

I figured Richard told them to keep their muzzles shut so that we could keep the pretense of me not knowing. Oh well. “Don’t worry, Jason. It doesn’t bother me.”

Jason looked at me but said nothing as he walked me to the door. I gave him my key to the Circus and left. My life was strange, but at least I was alive to live it.


	5. Chapter 5

Ah, home. Strange word coming from my lips, but now I had a real home, if you can call it that. And right now it was overrun with police, complete with an ambulance. Dolph was standing in front of my house talking to Zerbrowski, and neither of them looked too happy. Shit.

I pulled into the drive and got out. Edward was standing next to me before I realized he was there.

“Are you staying at the Circus?” he asked and his voice was urgent.

This was not good. Olaf must have sent another of his little gifts, but there were too many people there for it to be small. Something was going on.

“Edward, what happened?”

He didn’t answer. He didn’t need to. I watched as two paramedics wheeled a gurney out of my front door. There was a black bag on it. A body bag. Olaf had killed someone for me. His gift to me was death. But I already had that. I looked over my shoulder at Edward as I walked to my front door. I most definitely already had Death.

The police tried to stop me but I ducked under the yellow tape but I moved to quickly. The zipper on the bag wasn’t closed all the way up so I reached out and pulled one side away.

It was a woman in the bag, who looked like me. She was small with long dark hair. Curly dark hair. And she was pale. Not just pale with death, but she’d been pale before. Like I was. The only difference was that her face was now covered in blood. This wasn’t a gift from Olaf, this was a message. He wanted to kill me.

My hand dropped back from the bag and someone turned me around. I couldn’t see who it was. I couldn’t see anything. I was crying. Shit. They put on arm around my shoulder and I did something I hadn’t done in a very long time. I let someone hold me while I cried.

This wasn’t right. Someone had invaded my home. Someone had brought a dead body into my home, and it wasn’t me. My body stiffened as I realized that Olaf might have killed inside my home, inside where I was supposed to be safe. I pulled back.

“Did he kill her here?” I asked as I raised my eyes. I was more than a little surprised to see it was Edward who’d held me and let me cry on him. To be honest, I thought he was still mad at me about the whole Donna thing.

Edward didn’t answer me and I knew. I knew he’d killed that woman inside my home. 

Olaf had gotten inside my home. Edward hadn’t been able to find him and stop him, and Olaf had showed us just what he planned to do.

I pushed away from Edward and stumbled to the ground. A hand reached down to help me up and I batted it away. I looked up to see Edward stepping back, his offered hand sliding into a pocket. His face was his empty Edward face but his eyes looked sad. Maybe he felt bad about letting Olaf get so close to me.

Maybe not. His eyes bled back to their usual wintry distance and another hand reached down to help me up. It was Dolph. I took his hand and he helped me stand.

Edward walked away.

“How’d you know to come?” I asked.

“Mr. Forrester called. He was waiting for us when we got here.” Dolph glanced behind me, probably at Edward. “The murderer came in through the back, Mr. Forrester says he came in through the front. How did he get into your house, Anita?”

I don’t think Dolph liked Edward too much. 

It was a good question. But I knew the answer. Edward had picked my supposedly burglarproof door. But I couldn’t tell Dolph that. He was about to be a very unhappy policeman. I gave him my blank face and said, “I gave… Ted a key to my house.”

Dolph looked at me. Zerbrowski chose that moment to walk up. Good timing. I didn’t want to hear whatever Dolph had to say about me giving a key to Edward. Especially when I had lied. But he didn’t know I lied.

Once upon a time I’d been a very bad liar, right down to the roaming eyes and sweaty palms. Not anymore. 

“Homicide says she can’t stay here,” Zerbrowski said. He reached over and squeezed my shoulder. No jokes. 

It was good to see that I wasn’t the only one bothered by this.

“Do you have a place to stay, Anita? I’m sure Katie wouldn’t mind if you stayed with us,” Zerbrowski offered.

I shook my head. “I have a place to go.”

And I did. I just didn’t know where it was. I’d figure that part out once I was on the road and headed out of St. Louis. Dolph nodded and Zerbrowski led me into my house. I walked into the living room and almost immediately stepped into a puddle of bright cherry red blood. 

My living room used to be white. Now it was red. 

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath through my mouth. There was the faint metallic taste of blood on the air. I hadn’t thrown up at a crime scene in over two years, nearly three. It wasn’t going to change today just because it was an attack on me in my home. 

Suddenly it didn’t seem to matter so much anymore. I opened my eyes and walked through the living room to my own bedroom. Zerbrowski watched me, his face a little drawn at the squishing sounds each step I took made. He didn’t follow me across the blood.

Once in my room I pulled out a duffel bag: my zombie kit. I’d need it. It was a pretty specialized profession. There’d be plenty of chances to raise some zombies along the way to wherever I went. I left my vampire kit in the closet. I couldn’t carry it without an order of execution so taking it with me would be illegal. Instead I settled for shoving a few extra’s in my zombie bag. My sawed off shotgun went in, followed by one of two mini-uzi’s. They had both been gifts from Edward. The other one was in a secret compartment in my jeep. 

I grabbed the other two knives of my set and put them in the bag next to the shotgun. I already had two of them strapped to my forearms and I had my longer one, almost a sword, in a special rig that went down my spine. The handle stuck out but it was hidden in my hair. A small derringer, another gift from Edward, followed them, and then several boxes of ammo, both my Hornady XTP’s and Edward’s homemade recipe. 

If I couldn’t take my vamp kit, I’d at least pack something that would stop them before they got to me. 

Then I grabbed a suitcase and threw some clothes in it. Nothing but jeans and tee’s, and my other pairs of nike’s. Basics, too, and nothing more. When I was done I shouldered the duffel and picked up the suitcase in my left hand. I wanted my right hand free to reach the Browning, and if that failed, the Firestar was tucked into its inner pants holster in the front of my jeans.

I walked out of my room and out of my house. There was nothing left there that I needed to take with me.

I marched to my jeep and tossed the bags into the back then turned back to my house. Dolph and Zerbrowski were standing by the front door. I had the urge to wave goodbye to them, but I didn’t. Instead I turned away, turned back to the jeep. No good-bye’s between them, and me. Dolph had taught me that lesson well.

Edward was leaning against the jeep. Good old dependable Edward, in his own twisted way. I’d miss that. I didn’t know why I would, but I just would.

He’d produced a pair of sunglasses from somewhere and slid them on. He’d also abandoned the all black outfit for regular blue jeans, a white undershirt, and a black over shirt. It looked good on him. I hadn’t known Edward could look any way but deadly till not to long ago. My trip to New Mexico had taught me many things.

A lazy smile curved his lips. I would have said it was pure Ted if he hadn’t slipped his sunglasses off at that moment. His eyes didn’t have that Ted sparkle to them. They didn’t have the cold emptiness that was Edward’s usual face. They were… unreadable. Not because they were blank, but because they were showing emotion. Emotion and Edward don’t mix. At least I thought they didn’t. Problem was, I didn’t know what the hell his eyes were telling me. 

Edward and I are friends. Not the kind who will go out and have pizza every Friday night, but we are friends. I was beginning to think that maybe Edward liked me more than he let on and just might miss me if I got killed. If I kept my fingers crossed, maybe he’d never do the ultimate between us. Maybe he’d never challenge me. It’s not that I was afraid of killing him. I just didn’t think I could kill him.

He held the sunglasses in his hands and looked down. I don’t know why but I felt the urge to say something, anything, to reassure him that I’d be okay. I touched his arm and he looked up at me.

“Anita.” It was all in that one word, in my name. 

“I won’t let Olaf kill me, Edward. You won’t let him kill me.”

I pulled my keys out of my fanny pack and unhooked the car keys from the house keys. Lucky for me there were several other keys on the ring with the keys to the jeep, otherwise this wouldn’t have worked. I handed my house keys to him.

“This way you won’t have to break in.”

He took the keys and stared at them for the longest time. I knew he didn’t realize that they were the only set of keys to my home. And by the time he did, I’d be long gone. 

I realized that I’d miss Edward. Even though leaving St. Louis was a spur of the moment decision, I wasn't planning on coming back. Not while Olaf was alive to kill me. And until I had proof he was dead… I wasn’t coming back. I held a hand out to Edward. He took it. For a moment I thought we were going to shake hands and then he pulled me into a hug. 

“This isn’t goodbye, Anita. I’ll find you later at the Circus,” he whispered to me. Then he and I stepped back simultaneously.

I nodded. The least I could do was keep him thinking I was going there. I didn’t want anyone to know I was leaving. Maybe this would confuse Olaf enough that he’d stop killing.

I got in my jeep and drove away. I had one more stop to make and then I was free to go.

I don’t think Richard was too happy to see me when I knocked on his door. So I decided to make it short and sweet. I couldn’t tell him I was leaving. So I’d tell him what had been bothering me since the day Edward came to town and Richard had begun distancing himself from me.

“I don’t think we’re right together anymore. This thing between you and me and Jean-Claude had ruined whatever we had.” 

Richard nodded. “It took me a while to realize it, but what we had is really gone.”

My heart ached as he said that. But not because I was losing the man I loved. Because I had told myself for so long that Richard was the man of my dreams. Ramirez was right. I couldn’t choose between Richard and Jean-Claude because neither of them was the one. Then who the hell was?

I hugged Richard and kissed his cheek. Friends only, no romance. It felt fine. Then I left.

I hadn’t said goodbye to him. I hadn’t said goodbye to anyone. Dolph had taught me that lesson well.


	6. Chapter 6

It was dark, late, and I was tired. I’d just raised someone’s recently dead husband for a will and was moving farther south once again. Eighteen days on the move and counting, and almost every one of them I’d been covered in blood. Not my blood, but I had to have money and I couldn’t leave a paper trail. So I was freelancing as I traveled, raising someone here and there.

No one had tracked me down yet but I was beginning to have my suspicions about the lack of company. I’d been followed several times in the last few days. I think by the same car, but I wasn’t sure. Kind of hard to tell the make when it’s pitch black outside. So since I was traveling at night I couldn’t tell.

When I first thought I was being followed I’d panicked. I thought it was Olaf. But it had been too long without anything from him. If it were really Olaf following me he would have made his move, or any move by now. I was move free except for the jeep, so I was sure it wasn’t Olaf.

Headlights appeared on the horizon behind me. Speak of the devil, there was my shadow yet again. 

I eased off the gas and let the car get a closer. My eyes were glued to the rearview mirror and I squinted through the darkness trying to see the car. 

It was green.

A squeal echoed in my ears and I pulled the wheel of the jeep sharply to the left. Okay, let’s try to keep my eyes on the road and not drive off into the ditch. I sped up as I rounded the curve and the other car fell so far behind that it was just a speck.

Good.

I rounded another curve, softer than the first, and pulled over onto the side of the road. There wasn’t a ditch so I was safe to park and get out without falling down and breaking my neck. It was time to wait. I knew what I needed to know about the car. And as much as I could about the driver. 

I turned the jeep off and got out. A quick stretch and I hopped onto the hood and settled down to wait. I felt the Browning against my side and wished I hadn’t felt so secure when I’d left the motel hours earlier. The Firestar and its holster were both in my zombie bag in the back of the jeep. 

I didn’t wait for long. Headlights flickered through the trees and the car rounded the turn. A blinker came on and it pulled over in front of me. This was going to be interesting.

The engine cut off, the door opened, and a familiar face stepped out.

“Edward.”

“Anita,” he said. His voice was soft. I couldn’t see his face clearly in the dark even though my night vision is better than most, but I think he wasn’t wearing his blank face.

“So you know.”

“Yep.” 

He walked towards me and I slid down off the hood. “How long have you been following me, Edward?”

“Since last week.”

“How’d Richard and Jean-Claude get you to do this?”

“They didn’t.”

Wasn’t Edward Mr. Talkative tonight. That was normal. I saw a golden shadow just past him. Edward had brought company. I moved around to the side of my jeep to see who it was and then it hit me. Literally.

A ten-foot long shadow rushed me and jumped. My head was slammed into the door and I thought I saw stars. I was wrong, I was just seeing the paint job closer than it was meant to be seen. Fire ran down my back as its claws raked across me. 

I screamed and tried to pull the Browning. It was half way out of its holster when I paw the size of my head smacked me into the jeep again. I went down hard.

Edward pulled his Beretta and squeezed off a shot, but it only grazed the panther’s hind leg. It turned away from me and leaped onto Edward sending him to the ground. He cried out when he hit and I could see his left arm bent at an angle underneath him.

I got a good look at the panther. It wasn’t a were, thank God. I wasn’t going to turn furry the next full moon. I had enough monsters on my plate without being one of them myself. It was an all natural mountain lion, and it was chewing on Edward’s arm. 

I tried to stand but I couldn’t, so I crawled to where the Browning was lying in the soft dirt and aimed it at the big cat’s body. Blood ran into my right eye and I cursed. I wiped it away and tried aiming again. I squeezed the trigger slowly and my heart nearly stopped when the bullet missed its target and hit the ground inches from Edward’s head.

His blue eyes looked at me frantically. He probably thought I was trying to kill him so I held the gun skyward and didn’t try firing again. Edward produced a large hunting knife from somewhere and began stabbing the cat in the side. Once, twice, and then it slumped on top of him.

It was dead.

He pushed it off him and got to his knees, his left arm hanging at his side. I tried to get up but I fell. Shit. Edward laughed at me and stood up without so much as a wobble.

“It’s not funny, Edward,” I grumbled. “Your arm’s broke and I don’t think it’d be a good idea for me to try driving. Unless you want to die in a fiery crash in a ditch.”

Edward walked over to my jeep and slammed his left shoulder into the side. It left a matching dent to go with the one my head had made. He lifted his arm and circled it around. It hadn’t been broken, just popped out of the socket. 

“Damn it, Edward. Did you have to do that? Why didn’t you do it to your car?”

“Because mine’s a rental,” he said, like it was entirely reasonable.

He held a hand down to me and I took it. I stood up and I felt like I was going back down again when Edward wrapped an arm around me. I screamed.

He pulled his hand away and I nearly fell. His hand was covered in blood. He turned me around, still holding me tight so that I wouldn’t end up back on the ground and I heard him take a quick breath.

“You need to go to a hospital,” he said.

I shook my head. “Help me into the car.”

He opened the back door to the jeep and lay the seat back. I tried to climb in but couldn’t. One, I was too dizzy to do it. Two, my back hurt too badly to pull myself in.

“Anita,” he said.

“No, Edward. No trails, paper or otherwise.”

He shut up. I tried again to get into the back of my jeep and I guess Edward got sick of it because he picked me up and lay me in it. I bit back another scream and lay there silently. Edward closed the door and got in the driver’s seat. I’d left the keys in the ignition so he cranked the car and drove us away from the dead mountain lion.

I must have fallen asleep or passed out, I don’t know which one, because they next thing I knew we were pulling into a motel and Edward was telling me to stay lying down. There was a bag in the seat next to him and I watched as he grabbed it and walked into the lobby.

He came back a few minutes later and re-parked at the end of the building. I stayed where I was as he took the bag and went inside one of the rooms. He came back out and grabbed my suitcase. I sat up and tried to get out. I couldn’t do it.

Edward came back just as I was trying again and I think he was mad at me. He didn’t say anything but his eyes looked angry. He picked me again, as gently as he could, and carried me into the room kicking the door shut with his foot. 

I expected him to sit me on the bed but he took me to the bathroom and let me down in there. He produced another knife from somewhere—he’d left the hunting knife in the body—and cut the back of my shirt down the center. I winced as the material pulled away from my skin. Some of the blood had already dried and it hurt like hell.

Next he slit the waistband of my jeans and let them fall away from my hips, but they stayed on. He’d cut just enough to make it easier for me to undress. I was about to tell him to leave when I felt his hands run down the skin of my back to my bra strap. He cut that too and left without a word.

I was still standing there half naked, a hand to my chest to keep my bra from falling off, when he came back with four towels that were surprisingly fluffy for a motel, and the bag he’d had in the car. He opened it and sat down a roll of gauze and some butterfly closures on the counter. 

“Call me when you need my help,” he said, his voice neutral.

I nodded and he left, closing the door behind him.

I’d gotten as far as rinsing the dirt and grit off my body and out of my hair before I needed help. Edward came in and grabbed a clean washcloth. I was sitting in the tub, a towel wrapped around my waist and one held to my chest to protect my modesty. 

He wet the cloth and lay it against one of the gashes and I jerked away. It hurt. Edward looked at me, his shirt and jeans wet. I would have laughed if it didn’t hurt so much. He stripped the black tee he’d been wearing off. There was a pink scar on his chest just above his heart. I remembered when he’s gotten it. The same trip to Santa Fe that had killed me three times.

“Try and stay still, Anita,” he said softly. The washcloth was on my back again, gently cleaning out the furrows in my flesh. I don’t think I made a noise, but I know I was crying. I couldn’t help it.

He blew on the place where he’d just washed. This was very un-Edward like. This was the same man who’d helped me clean a vampire bite with holy water. No, it wasn’t the same man. Something had made him softer, more human. Like he was accepting he wasn’t really a monster. I shook my head slightly as he continued to wash my back.

When he was done he tossed the now bloody washcloth in the sink and grabbed a clean one. He used this one on my forehead. It was almost as bloody as the first when he finished. Edward rinsed my hair again and then helped me out of the tub. He even turned away when I dropped the two wet and bloody towels into the tub and wrapped myself in one of the clean ones. 

Then Edward made me sit on the toilet while he taped me together with little butterfly closure Band-Aids and wrapped gauze around me. I had to drop the towel for that one, but it didn’t really bother me. Edward didn’t meet my eyes while he wrapped me up, but he didn’t make me uncomfortable with my nakedness either.

He helped me wrap the last towel around my aching body, the other one became as bloody as the first two while he was playing doctor, and he helped me to the main room. There was one bed, two chairs, and a TV that was bolted to the dresser. He lay me in the bed and covered me up. 

“Get some sleep, Anita. You need to heal,” he said as he pulled the covers over me. 

I should have felt strange, seeing how I was in a motel with Edward in nothing but a towel, but it felt completely normal. I’d have to think on that when I woke up. My eyes began to flutter shut and the last thing I remember was Edward pulling one of the chairs up by the bed and watching me as I went to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

It was still dark when I opened my eyes. Or maybe it was dark again, because I woke up in a hospital room, not the motel room Edward had gotten for us. I tried to sit up but pain shot down my abused back. There was movement from the corner of the room and Edward emerged from the shadows. His face was haggard and he had dark circles under his eyes. 

“I really have to stop hanging out with you, Edward. Lately, every time I do my back ends up in pieces.”

I tried to laugh but it hurt too badly. Edward managed a smile. He must have seen I was in pain because he pressed the call button for a nurse. I wasn’t going to have much time to find out why I was in the hospital.

“Why did you bring me here, Edward?”

“You were bleeding too badly. I couldn’t stop it. And when you didn’t wake up… I decided you were better off in the hospital.”

I could live with that, but would I live through it when Olaf found me? I didn’t want to think about it.

“Richard’s on his way.”

Edward called Richard? That was a first. Why not call Jean-Claude? He was more likely to kill to protect me. Maybe Edward just thought Richard was the lesser of two monsters.

A nurse came in with a needle full of painkillers. I cringed at the thought of her sticking it in my arm. But she didn’t. She injected it into the IV than was in the back of my hand. Almost immediately I began to feel sleepy and the pain began to fade.

My eyes were closing as Edward stepped over to the side of the bed. He touched my cheek and said softly, “I didn’t want to lose you. I was afraid you were dying.”

Edward was worried about me dying? I tried to sit up to talk to him but I was already on the edges of sleep. He leaned over me and his eyes were so clear. He wasn’t wearing a mask the way he usually does and I could see that he really was scared of losing me.

His lips were next to mine and he leaned down a little bit further. Edward was going to kiss me. And I think I wanted him to. 

He didn’t. Instead he kissed my forehead.

The last thing I thought before the drugs pulled me into darkness was how very much I wanted Edward to kiss me. And right after that was how not right that feeling was.

 

When I woke again it was to the feeling of soft lips on my forehead. Edward was still here.

“Edward,” I said softly and then opened my eyes. 

That was not a good order to do them in, I found as Richard backed away a step from the bed. Shit. I remembered that Edward had said Richard was coming. And now that Richard was here Edward was gone. That bothered me. It shouldn’t have, but it did.

I looked at Richard looking back at me and I saw pain in his eyes, sorrow, and then acceptance. It was really over between us. Whatever it had been it was gone and I wasn’t too disappointed. To be honest, I don’t think that Richard was either. 

We were closer than we had ever intended to be, despite the brief engagement, because of the marks. That and he thought I was a monster because I killed so easily. Funny how he never complained about my quick trigger finger when it was saving his life, only when he was out of the line of fire.

Oh well.

“What happened to you, Anita?”

I sighed. Edward had called, yes, but he had played the cards to his chest like he always did. “Mountain lion,” was all I said.

He knew immediately that it wasn’t a were. We’d had my scare with being a were once already when Gabriel, the ex-leader of the were-leopards, tried to rape and then kill me. I killed him before he could do more than cut me up but it was enough to make us worry. I’d spent the next full moon at the lupanar with Richard and the pack, but it was a false alarm.

“Why did you leave?”

“There’s a monster after me.”

He looked at me funny. I was the one who went after the monsters and killed them, or killed them before they killed me. I didn’t run away from them. But this time the monster had gotten to me, and I don’t know why. I don’t think it was just the fact that Olaf had invaded my home. Monsters had done that before. But the monsters had never used my living room for murder of an innocent woman, much less an innocent woman who looked like me.

But I didn’t say a word to Richard. Instead I rang for the nurse. She came and I noticed she never touched me when she checked my IV. I asked her to get the doctor. I’d had enough of hospitals. I was checking out.

There was no argument from the doctor when I told him I was checking out. I wondered if it was because I’d healed so quickly. Richard had told me I’d been there for two days, which meant Edward hadn’t called Richard until I’d already been there a day. I wish he hadn’t called him at all. 

My jeep was nowhere to be seen when Richard and I walked out to his car. When we passed the spot where I’d pulled off the road, and then Edward, there was nothing there. No cat, no car. Edward had two cars with him wherever he was.

After that the rest of the ride to St. Louis was silent. It took us all day and most of the night, which meant Richard had broken several speed limits to make it to me. Not usual Richard behavior, but who was I to complain? I’ve broken the law before, in many ways worse than that.

Richard dropped me off at my house, which was now clean and white again and then he left. No good-byes. Just the mutual understanding that we were still friends. I walked to the door empty handed; all of my stuff was with my jeep, which meant it was with Edward. So were my guns and knives. I was completely unarmed and, I realized, without a key to my house. 

I’d given it to Edward. Sensible at the time since I hadn’t planned on coming back, but right now it was just plain stupid. I tried the door. It was locked. No big surprise there.

I walked around to the back and sat down on one of the two chairs I had outside. It was after one, cold, dark, and I was alone. Olaf sprang to mind, but I beat down any thoughts of him and turned my mind to Edward.

He wasn’t acting like his usual Edward self. Well, he was now, being nowhere in sight, but I’d never seen him be so… human before than he’d been the night the mountain lion had attacked us. Not ever back in Santa Fe with Donna and the kids. 

And what was wrong with me? I’d wanted him to kiss me, that’s what was wrong with me. I already had my share of strange boyfriends with Jean-Claude and Richard. I’ve dated the Master Vampire of St. Louis and the Ulfric for the St. Louis pack. Dating was an understatement considering some of the things I’d done with them. Now I wanted a sociopath to kiss me. 

Granted, he’d said I was a piece of his soul, but when I kissed someone of my own free will, no type of force used, I usually ended up dating them. And worse. Or better, depending on how you looked at it. With Edward, it would definitely be worse. I think.

I don’t know if it’d be worse. Edward was me in a strange way. He was what I was growing up to be like, and that frightened me. There were no lines he wouldn’t cross, as far as I could tell. But there had to be a line I wouldn’t cross. Somewhere there had to be one. 

So far I hadn’t found it. 

There was a movement in the bushes to my right and I was falling back out of the chair, my hand going for the Browning before I thought about it. The only problem was that it wasn’t there. It was with Edward.

“Oh God,” I said softly as I realized that Olaf could take me at will if he wanted to. Shit.

“Edward, where are you?” My voice was soft in the night air, but I knew it carried far enough to be heard. 

The man stepped into the moonlight and I stood slowly. “I wish and it’s granted, right Edward?”

He didn’t say anything, just closed the distance between us. He wasn’t as tall as Richard and Jean-Claude, but he was tall enough that I had to look up at him when he was standing right in front of me. He had his Edward face on and I watched as it bled away into the night.

“You gave me the only key to your house.” His voice was soft and disbelieving. Maybe he thought I didn’t trust him that much. But I did. I trusted him more than anyone else. Edward was the only person I knew who’d make sure I died well.

But that was if I died. I remembered all the times Edward had saved my life without cause. He always said it was because he got to kill more if I was alive, but there were many times he’d shown up when I hadn’t asked or even known I needed help. Like he was watching over me. Edward, my guardian angel. Funny, I thought, but ironically true. Edward had saved my life more times than I cared to remember it was in danger, and I trusted him with it.

I nodded. “I trust you,” I whispered. I wet my lips and looked at him. I trusted him. I honestly did. And I believed in him. I knew he’d be there if I needed help, no questions asked and no favors required.

He looked down at me and his eyes were shadowed. A mist of clouds had covered the moon. I opened my mouth to say something, I don’t know what, but something, and then he kissed me.


	8. Chapter 8

His lips were soft, softer than Richard’s, and surprisingly gentle. Not what I would have expected from Edward. My eyes flew open and I pulled back. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening.

Me kissing Edward. Or him kissing me. Either way it was a big thing that shouldn’t be happening, but had happened anyway. 

And the truly scary part wasn’t the fact that I’d just been kissed by Death. It was the part where I had liked it and for a few moments had kissed him back. This wasn’t happening to me.

I looked at Edward. I knew my eyes were wide with shock and pleasure. Edward’s weren’t wide. They were sad. Then it hit me. Edward had kissed me.

Me.

Not because he had to or because of sex. Not anything close to that. Edward liked me. You know, back in fifth grade where you liked your friends but you _liked_ that one guy who sat in the second row ahead of you, two seats over, and had the cutest smile? Edward _liked_ me.

Shit. 

What made it even weirder was… I liked him, too. Actually, a little more than like. And that scared me. I had feelings for probably the most deadly human man I’d ever met. The same man who said it was his fantasy to kill me. Excuse me, give me a weapon and hunt me. 

This was not good. But I didn’t care. Call it shell shock or whatever the hell you want, I just didn’t care.

So what if Death had a crush on me? So what if I had a… crush on him? I was a big girl, capable of taking care of myself.

But I’d rather have Edward take care of me tonight. He turned, I think to leave, and I stopped him.

“Edward.” My voice was soft on the night air.

The moon chose that moment to come out of hiding and he turned back. His face was empty, his eyes dull. He’d taken a big risk tonight, jeopardized the closest thing he had to real friendship, and he thought it hadn’t paid off.

I reached a hand out, grabbed his arm, and pulled him back to me. “You aren’t leaving me alone tonight.”

Fear and wonder spread through his face. Edward couldn’t believe what I’d just said. I leaned up and brushed a kiss across those incredibly soft lips of his and then backed away a step. I looked into his eyes again and I knew that he would give me what I wanted tonight: his love and his trust.

He touched my face with a hand that shook just a little. Like a kid that can’t believe what Santa brought him for Christmas. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe Edward had more than a crush on me. But I wouldn’t think of that right now.

He bent his head to mine and our lips met again. It was still gentle, but behind that was an urgency I’d never felt with Jean-Claude or Richard. He pulled me closer and I held onto him. He was my lifeline that night, and if I let go there was no way out. As it was, there was no going back, even if I wanted to.

A hand brushed my hair out of my face and I held it to my cheek as we kissed. It was warm and alive and very human. 

Edward pulled back but didn’t say anything. I chose not to break the silence as he pulled the key to my house out of his pocket. The key fit the locks on both the front and back door, so Edward let us in and locked the house behind. 

He was moving too slow for me. I took his hand and guided him to my bedroom and shut the door. A chair went under the handle and I turned back to him. At least if Olaf planned on interrupting us we’d have a few seconds before he was in.

I looked at Edward and he looked down for a moment and then back up. He still couldn’t believe what was going on. It was sweet and human and I loved him even more because of it. 

My mind froze for a moment. I loved Edward? Someone had screwed up in the great scheme of things. I love Edward… but I did. No arguing it, I was in love with Edward. There was no pain or sorrow or regret as I thought it. Just the realization that I loved him, and I had for a long time.

I walked over to Edward and brushed a blond curl from over his ear. There were so many things I’d never noticed before, like how his mouth curves up on one side when he smiles, or how his right eyebrow is a little higher up than his left. 

So very human.

I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him again, my tongue tracing his lips lightly. He finally realized that I truly wanted him, and he parted his lips and kissed me back. His hands slid over my back and I wrapped an arm around his neck. The other went to work removing the shoulder holster he wore.

He slid it off and dropped it onto the floor. His shirt followed and I frowned as I saw the pink scar where a stake had nearly killed him. He looked down at it and then back at me.

“You would never have gotten hurt if I were better,” and my voice was soft.

“Maybe,” he said. His voice was neutral again. “If I were better you wouldn’t have died three times.”

Okay, so maybe we were even. 

I let my hand slip from his shoulder down to the scar. It was still new and felt slick as I touched it. 

There were more lower, near the waist of his jeans. Two small dots of new pink skin. He’d been shot. I could lose Edward. It was entirely possible. But he could lose me, if I was what he wanted, so I couldn’t and wouldn’t complain.

He pulled my tee shirt over my head and tossed it to the floor. His eyes were still wary but I wasn’t going to back down. I kissed him again and my hands traced across his stomach and to his back. I could feel a long line of older scar tissue run down it, across his spine and down into his jeans. I didn’t flinch but I knew it must have hurt badly.

My fingers traced the edges of it lightly, just close enough so that he knew what I was doing but far enough he could still feel it. The worst thing about a scar is that you can’t feel it. The nerve endings are dead so they’re completely senseless. I knew this and I used that knowledge to give him pleasure.

He sighed lightly against my neck and scooped me up into his arms. We tumbled into the bed and he stretched out on top of me, his hands trapping my arms beneath me and his body pressing into mine. I squirmed but didn’t offer any resistance. To be honest, I enjoyed it. 

He let go of my arms and his hands slid down my body and legs to my feet. My Nike’s and socks followed my shirt to where it was crumpled on the floor. He laid his head on my stomach and smiled at me. I was reminded of a leopard, a comparison I’ve used on Edward at least once before. It was eerie to see it for real.

Rather than be afraid I pulled him up to me. The gun that was tucked into the back of his jeans went, and so did the knife strapped to his ankle, then the boots and jeans. It felt strange to be in bed with Edward. And I really hadn’t seen him as a boxer’s kind of guy, but hey, I’m allowed a few misconceptions. 

My jeans were peeled off and then thrown somewhere away from the bed. I don’t remember when my bra came off; I was too busy enjoying the sensations of his mouth on my skin. He was gentle yet… urgent; an unbelievably potent combination. 

His hands were like fire on my cool skin and I gasped as he touched me. I wanted to touch him. Too many clothes, they had to go. And go they did, to join the pile of clothing tossed about the room.

I’ve always said sex is messy, good sex is messier. I was wrong. Or maybe I was right. Sex is just sex, but making love is a whole new story. And that is exactly what we did.

When we were fulfilled, I lay down and Edward lay beside me, not touching me. I reached out and drew him closer and he let me hold him. He fell asleep that way, in my arms, his arms around me, and I think before he finally slept he said, “I love you,” softly. 

It was the ultimate trust. Edward was asleep next to me, his face years younger, without a weapon nearby. He held onto me all night, like even while he slept he was afraid I’d leave him.

I didn’t.

 

When I woke the next morning Edward was gone. In my hand was a piece of paper. 

_We find out once and for all. Tonight at seven._

Edward may love me, but he was going to hunt me.


	9. Chapter 9

Dusk was closing in as I finished dressing for the hunt. It sounded like something a group of drunken men do in November, but tonight the quarry wasn’t deer. Tonight, it was me.

Definitely not my idea of fun.

Edward had left some toys to use, most of them being in the range of weaponry. I was wearing dark jeans with Nike’s, a black long-sleeved shirt, and a black vest that had loops all over it. I fitted by shoulder holster on and slid the Browning into its home. My knives went on my forearms, freshly blacked to keep the moonlight from showing them, and a set of throwing knives went into the loops of the vest, all black. They were Edward’s idea.

Along with the vest and throwing knives was another knife as long as my forearm that went to a sheath on my right thigh. The sheath was obviously a custom job since it fit the length perfectly; I could reach down for it and pull it out without looking. 

I sat down and watched the clock. It was only five and I had two hours before Edward would begin and an hour until I ran and hid. Yes, I was going to hide. At least if I did that I’d be able to try and surprise Edward. I was betting on surprising him, since I was pretty sure that was the only way I’d come out alive. Which would mean Edward would be dead.

I couldn’t believe he was pushing this, and I guess neither could he since there had been a note with the new toys. It had read “I’m sorry, but I have to know.”

Yeah, right. And I need another scar on my left arm. 

But I couldn’t do anything to stop him. Except for kill him. And if things went well for me, I would.

I wouldn’t enjoy it once it was done, but I knew that when the moment came, when I had him in my sights, I’d be able to pull the trigger without a second thought. 

It was the after part that worried me. The part where, if I won, I would be left with Edward’s body, and not even that for long since I’d made him a promise that he die well. I’d take his head and burn everything else; he had no family that I knew of now that Donna was out of his life.

That was the part I was afraid of. 

Six o’clock. It was time for me to head out.

I walked out the back door and slid into the woods without a sound. I wasn’t playing fair, but if Edward got to pick when he hunted me, I’d damn sure pick where. And this was the best place. No neighbors nearby to call if they heard gunshots, plenty of places to use for hiding and stalking, and a place where I would have the advantage, thanks to the marks that bound Richard and I together.

And what an advantage it would be. I’d felt it twice before. Once on the way to the lupanar of the Thronos Roke clan, and once finding a sobbing woman. Richard had been with me both times, but under Marianne’s diligent teachings I knew I’d be able to do it without him there with me.

The marks bled open and I felt Richard’s surprise as I pulled on his power. He didn’t try to stop me but I knew he wasn’t pleased. I must be interrupting something. I’d apologize tomorrow when my life wasn’t in danger. Provided I lived to see tomorrow.

After what felt like hours of waiting I sensed more than heard or saw Edward enter the woods.

Show time.

I could hear him making swift but silent progress towards me. It would have been very impressive if I hadn’t been sensing everything through a were’s senses. Even the very air tastes different, rougher and more natural than any I’ve ever breathed.

And for all of his predator nature, Edward still wasn’t quiet enough to escape my ears.

I headed deeper into the forest, making as much noise as I could so that he would follow me. Then I turned and ran like I’d run that day with Richard. I ran like I was pack and I could feel Richard’s beast calling me, pulling me towards it.

No! Not tonight. Any night but tonight. I couldn’t lose focus; I had to watch my back. 

I reached the edge of the forest, hands still empty, no fear from Edward since he was at least a mile away. Time to hide. I settled down into a loose crouch and waited. My knees began to cramp and my body was aching before Edward turned back to the direction I was hidden in. I’d been sitting there for nearly an hour.

Time to run again.

I stood and opened the marks between Richard and began to run headlong through the trees. A mistake I soon discovered as Richard cut the connection. I had the distinct impression of intense pleasure before he was gone, but it was too late. I fell to my knees with a cry.

I clapped a hand over my mouth and got to my feet. Time for slower progress. I had no idea where Edward was, but it didn’t matter. This was it. I was going to hunt him.

Maybe his fantasy and my nightmare was him hunting me, but I’ll be damned if I was going to sit around and let him terrorize me. I moved out.

I don’t know how long it was until I found him, but I did. He was crouched across a clearing facing away from me. I moved slowly, pulling the Browning. He heard me and turned, his gun in hand, sights trained on me. I saw his face for a split second and it was surprised. I can’t imagine why.

Then a curtain fell across me and I felt nothing. He hadn’t fired; my gun was still on its way up. 

Still nothing.

The Browning was up, aimed, he hesitated and I fired.

The shot took Edward in the chest and he went down, hard. The force of the bullet sent him back into a tree and from there to the ground. He didn’t move. 

I stood up from the half crouch I’d been in and moved forward. The blow took me from behind and threw me forward into the ground. The last thing I remembered was trying to pull that new knife strapped to my thigh. 

Then darkness claimed me.


	10. Chapter 10

My head felt like someone had driven a semi over it and it was the most wonderful thing I’d ever felt. If I was feeling pain I knew I was alive, and alive was good. Or not, I thought as I opened my eyes. I was back in my living room lying on my side on the floor. In front of me on my couch was Olaf. He was grinning like the cat that ate the canary. 

Something was terribly wrong. It was full dark outside and, well, here was Olaf. He wasn’t supposed to be here. Neither was I. I was supposed to in the woods because Edward was coming to hunt me tonight. He’d even left me toys. Toys that were now lying neatly on my coffee table, two feet away from me. 

I tried to get up, to get to my weapons, and discovered I was tied up. Shit.

“I never would have thought that Edward would be taken down by a little girl,” Olaf said in his deep voice.

What was he talking about? Edward wasn’t even here.

Then the memory flooded back so swiftly I had to close my eyes. I saw Edward turn to shoot me, and I was the one that had fired. Edward was dead. He was lying out there in the woods, dead. Because of me. Oh God, no, please, no. I killed Edward.

I pressed my face into the cool carpet and tried not to scream in fear and horror. This wasn’t good. I’d killed him and Olaf had me. There was no one to save me. 

Olaf stood and knelt beside me. He grabbed my hair in a beefy hand and yanked my head up to look at him, pulling my upped body up with it. His eyes were empty but there was a gleam in them that I didn’t like. It told me that he was going to kill me. Funny, I’d always thought it would be a vamp or a were to kill me. Or even Edward. But tonight I was going to die at the hands of a human monster.

“I am going to enjoy this,” and he let my hair go. I fell back to the floor with a loud thump. It hurt, but not enough to make me scream. And I had the strange idea that I’d be screaming enough as the night went on.

Olaf stood and walked into the kitchen. He was out of sight of me, and I was hoping that that meant I was out of sight from him. I wasn’t going to die tonight, not like this. Not without a fight. I used my legs to sit up and then squirmed over to the coffee table. My hands were bound behind my back so I turned slightly and grabbed one of the knives. The biggest one, the one Edward had left for me. 

Then I squirmed my way back to where Olaf had left me. It wouldn’t do to let him know I was cutting myself free. I sawed at the ropes. The knife cut through them easily. Edward had always kept his tools well honed. I turned over on my side with my arms still behind me to hide the knife.

Olaf chose that moment to come back. He was carrying a small piece of rolled up cloth. It went on the table and he unrolled it. I flinched as I saw what was inside: scalpels, small knives, corkscrews, and other instruments that could be painful. That was so not happening to me. He didn’t notice that one of the knives was missing and that made me think less of him.

But far be it from me to point that out.

He came over to me with a predator like grace and I was reminded of Edward. I did two things at once. I swung out with my right hand, the knife firmly gripped in it, and I rolled forward onto my feet. The knife took Olaf across the stomach creating a thick line of blood across the white shirt he was wearing. It wasn’t a killing blow, but now I had a fighting chance.

Olaf produced a knife from somewhere on his body and came at me. I side stepped it and shoved my blade into his back. His forward momentum took him on while I still held the knife. He was still on his feet and there was a long gash down my left arm. 

Shit. That should have finished him.

He came at me again and this time I barely had time to move out of his way. Not fast enough I discovered as another line of blood flowed, this time down my leg. I was going to get hurt badly. It was going to be worse if I didn’t stop him now. And I was probably to die either way. But I didn’t care. All I cared about was killing Olaf and keeping him from killing others.

Several things flashed through my mind at once, all of them Edward. 

Edward saving me all those times, no questions asked, no favors owed. Edward touching me and making me feel different, more whole than anyone had before. Him sleeping in my arms. And his body jerking as I killed him. 

I lunged at Olaf and shoved the blade deep into his chest. I missed his heart. I fell back, still on my feet, and wondered what I was going to do next. Olaf smiled at me and his hands were empty. I looked down. His knife was in my side. I didn’t feel it, and that wasn’t good.

I looked up just in time to see Olaf lunge at me. Then a shot rang out through the living room. 

Olaf looked at behind me, then back at me. There was a crimson spot on his chest, dark blood, heart blood. He took a step forward and another shot was fired. He fell back, a hole in his head. He was dead.

I turned around. Edward was standing in the doorway holding his gun still trained on Olaf. His shirt was open and I got a glimpse of a Kevlar vest on him. He wasn’t dead.

“Edward,” I said and then fell to my knees, a hand clutching my side where the knife still pierced me. I pulled it out and dropped it to the floor. Its six inch blade was covered in blood. My blood. I looked back up at Edward and his eyes were wide. He hadn’t showed up in time.

“Edward,” I said again as I fell to the floor. The pain was coming now like a hot poker had been skewered into my side. I closed my eyes against it. Edward was there in an instant, pulling his shirt off and pressing it against my wound. 

“I thought I killed you.” He didn’t say anything.

“I wasn’t good enough, was I, Edward?” I hadn’t killed him. I hadn’t even killed Olaf. I wasn’t even good enough to keep myself alive. 

Edward shook his head. “You took the shot. I didn’t,” he said like that explained everything. 

“But Olaf still got me.” There was blood on my lips and I could taste it in my throat. He’d gotten something important. I really was dying this time. Shit.

“You’ll be okay, Anita. Help’s coming.” 

I almost started to cry when he said my name. It sounded like the saddest thing I’d ever heard; one of the last times he’d say it, and one of the first times I knew he cared when he said it.

I shook my head. “Too late.” The darkness was there, at the edges of my eyes, and I knew I said the truth. 

I looked at him and his baby blues were bright. He was crying. That wasn’t right; Death doesn’t cry. I touched my hand to his face to wipe away the tears. I left a smear of my blood on his cheek.

“I’m sorry, Edward,” I said softly. The darkness was covering more and more. I heard sirens in the distance. Too late. “I’m sorry.”

And I closed my eyes.


	11. Chapter 11

I came to once and saw Edward sleeping in a chair next to my hospital bed. Then the drugs had me again and everything was silent and black.

I woke up a second time to Richard and Jean-Claude talking softly. They knew at once when I was awake and came over. Richard touched my hand softly and Jean-Claude laid a cool hand on my forehead. There was love, but no romance. Friendship, but no sex. 

“Rest, ma petite,” Jean-Claude whispered once and I slept again.

The next time I woke it was to Richard. There was sunlight and I knew Jean-Claude was asleep. It was morning, something I thought I’d never see again.

Richard stood next to the bed, his hair pulled back into a braid that made it look short and neat, his clothes rumpled. “We thought we were going to lose you.”

“So did I. I felt myself dying, Richard.”

“You did.”

So much for thinking I was safe. I’d died again. Why was it whenever Edward was around I died? But he wasn’t here now. I wondered where he was for a brief moment and then decided to forget about it. Edward would show up when he was ready.

Richard smiled at me. I think he knew what I was thinking. But it didn’t bother me. He turned and walked to the door. “There are some friends of yours that are here to see you.”

The door opened and he walked out. Then Dolph, Ronnie, and Larry walked in. Ronnie and Larry were both holding red heart shaped balloons that said ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’ and Dolph was carrying a small penguin holding a red heart. 

Was it valentine’s day, already? That meant I’d been in the hospital for at least four or five days. My mind was still a little fuzzy, but that was as close as I could figure right now.

Ronnie said, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Anita. Catherine’s coming tonight with Bob.”

Larry smiled. “Great way to spend Devil’s day, huh?” I think he was still a little hurt over Detective Tammy. Last I’d heard she didn’t want Larry and her parents to meet yet.

Dolph just smiled. He was always a man of few words.

My eyes burned. Shit, I was going to cry. But it was okay this time. I was glad to see my friends. Something had changed inside me, I think. Yet another blow of mortality on myself, and I was ready to bawl over a few balloons and a toy penguin. Or maybe it was just the fact that I’d died again. I’d analyze it later.

Ronnie and Larry both hugged me and told me about what had happened while I was asleep. Apparently Olaf was wanted for several murders in England, France, Germany, and many other places. Ted and I had been proclaimed hero’s for ‘ridding the world’ of him. Larry told me Bert was practically drooling over the free press and I laughed. That wasn’t such a good idea.

I moaned softly with the pain of it. Marks or not, there’d been internal damage that was still healing. That’s when Ronnie and Larry said their good-byes so that I could get some rest. Dolph stayed.

He sat the penguin down on the bed next to me. “Zerbrowski and the guys send their love.”

I smiled. The heart the penguin held said “Sending you my love…” and Dolph had made a joke. So maybe the cop face he was wearing wasn’t a bad sign. I’d known cops that kept their blank face on all the time. They couldn’t just start and stop it. Maybe Dolph was like that now.

“I did some checking on Ted Forrester.”

Why couldn’t he just let me rest? I didn’t think I was up to keeping Edward’s secrets with a blank face right now, and I didn’t want to mess up. So I did the next best thing. I didn’t say anything.

“He has a file with the government. It’s blacked out.”

I stayed silent. 

“Do you even know his real name, Anita?”

I closed my eyes. When I opened them my blank face was on. It was easier to wear it when I was lying; even it was just being quiet. I didn’t say anything.

A voice from the doorway said softly, “Edward. My real name is Edward.” 

I don’t know who was more surprised, me or Dolph. But the surprise was for very different reasons. Him, he was surprised because the man himself had revealed it. Me, I was dying of shock that Edward had told Dolph his name. Well, that and he’d said it was his real name. So Edward didn’t use the name like he used ‘Ted.’ Edward was his real name.

Dolph looked at Edward and then to me. The complete surprise must have shown on my face because he left saying, “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

He probably thought Edward and I were going to have a long heart to heart because he’d lied to me about who he was. Well, we might have a heart to heart, but it wasn’t going to be about that. I’d known who and what Edward was since I’d met him almost seven years ago.

Edward walked over to me and pulled a chair up. He handed me a little gift bag decorated with hearts. It was Sigmund. I smiled and held Sigmund to my chest. “Thank you, Edward.” Edward nodded. I looked at him and waited. 

“My name is Edward. Edward St. James.”

This was definitely news to me. Edward had a name, a real name. This also meant that Edward had a family, had a past, that he wasn’t just some mysterious ghost in my life. “So you’re a real person. You have real birthday and all?” I think my disbelief was loud and clear. I was having a bit of hard time adjusting.

“February 14, 1971.”

That was today. Edward was born on Valentine’s day. Oh, the irony.

I did some quick math in my head. That meant that Edward was 29. Younger than Richard, definitely younger than Jean-Claude, and he was still so dangerous. I was positively tingling. I knew things about Edward. Real things. 

It was like Christmas. I was opening my presents. Only this time it was someone else’s life. 

Edward was telling me his secrets.

And from the look in his eyes, Edward wasn’t finished.


	12. Chapter 12

“I joined the CIA when I was eighteen; fresh out of school and ready for action. After two years with them I was one of the top operatives, with my pick of assignments.”

He cleared his throat. The most dangerous man I knew was nervous about telling me this. Little old me who was still incapacitated in a hospital bed. Me, heap big vampire hunter, in a hospital bed because of a regular (but no less evil) human.

His voice was soft when he continued. “They offered me an assignment that would send me deep undercover into the world of a very, very dangerous man.”

“Van Cleef?”

He nodded. 

“We… They needed someone on the inside. So I took it. I went in and became the best man Van Cleef trained.” I don’t know if he was proud of it. It sounded to me like he regretted taking that assignment. “We got the intelligence we needed. My superiors pulled me out.”

It was strange hearing Edward talk like this. Assignments, intelligence, superiors. I remembered that night when Simon had asked if Van Cleef would like me. Edward had said the word then. Strange. 

“But somewhere along the way, while I was on the inside, I crossed the line.”

I didn’t ask him what he meant, what that line was. I already knew. When he crossed the line, that was when he began to like the killing. 

“I left Van Cleef’s organization. I left the CIA. I was too much of a risk to them.”

I heard a ‘but’ coming and beat him to it. “But you’re still connected to them. Shit, Edward. You’re a spook.”

He nodded, his face blank and empty. His eyes weren’t, though. They were tired. I think he was relieved. A secret like this had to be a burden and Edward was, after all, only human. And that was something I didn’t want to change.

“Why are you telling me this, Edward?”

“I wanted you to know the truth.”

“Why?”

I already knew why. Okay, maybe strongly suspected, but I still had a good idea why he was telling me all of this. It was the same reason once upon a time I’d told Richard everything about me and my life.

“You know,” he said. His face was blank, his eyes empty. I was beginning to think that was the real Edward’s face.

I shook my head and clutched Sigmund closer. I did know. He’d already told me. But that was when he was half-asleep. I don’t know why but I wanted him to say it, no, needed him to say again. Now. When I knew he was awake and alive. Not when he was off guard and only semiconscious. 

He wasn’t going to do it.

I turned away from and Sigmund fell to the white sheets of the hospital bed. It hurt, but who was I to let him know? 

And then Edward turned me back to him, one hand holding my cheek and the other covering my mouth to keep the scathing remark I’d been about to throw at him where it was. How well he knew me.

Edward gave me a little smile. “Because I love you, Anita.”

My heart sped up. This was what I wanted. A man who could live with what I did for a living, who wouldn’t judge me because I killed easily, and who wouldn’t get killed on me. Edward could be killed, I knew that, but the great thing was it wouldn’t happen unless someone was better than him or got lucky. 

But did I love him?

And just as quickly as I asked myself that question, it was answered. Yes. I loved Edward. I thought about it and realized that I’d loved him for a long time, I just hadn’t known it. Or if I had, I wouldn’t let myself realize it. It was there in the way I trusted him with my life. The way I knew he wouldn’t ask me to do something that was going to kill me, the way I trusted him with making sure I died well. 

I looked at him. His face was drawn, tired, burned out maybe. I reached out a hand to him and he took it. I pulled him closer and smiled as his lips met mine. It was nothing, really. Just a chaste touch, but it made me feel so complete. 

In that instant I felt bad about mocking Ramirez’s words. He’d said that since I couldn’t choose, maybe the two guys waiting for me at home weren’t the one. But he was right. Neither of them was who I was looking for. I’d found him. I was going to have to write Ramirez a note to say he was right, I was wrong.

Edward pulled back but I wouldn’t let him go. He ended up sitting on the hospital bed next to me, a hand in mine. I leaned over and whispered ‘happy birthday’ to him. 

He looked at me with an odd expression and then a smile spread across his face. “No one’s said that to me on the right day in a really long time.”

I just smiled. He brushed some of my hair out of my face and kissed me again. Then I took the plunge.

“I love you, Edward.”

The cold emptiness that sat in the back of his eyes bled away. He kissed me again and got up to leave. I held onto him. I wasn’t going to let him walk out. Not now, not today. Especially not today.

“Happy Devil’s Day,” I said, copying Larry’s phrasing of the holiday. And it was amazingly true. I’d gone through hell and back to get what I wanted, who I wanted. And now I’d found him.


	13. Chapter 13

I was released from the hospital the day after that and went home to find roses from Jean-Claude, daisies from Richard, and a note from Edward saying he had some unfinished business to attend to. When he came home he told me he’d went to see Donna. They’re friends now, and he goes out to visit her and the kids every now and then.

Speaking of Donna, she and I are friends still. She doesn’t hold it against me that Edward and I are… together. Funny how she saw it and knew before me. I’m usually more observant. She’s seeing, ironically enough, Detective Ramirez now. And I apologized to him for what I’d said. He just smiled and let it go.

And yes, I meant it when I said that Edward came home. He sold his house in New Mexico and we’re living together in a new house. I couldn’t sleep in the one Olaf corrupted. There’s been no talk of marriage or children; neither of us seems to be ready or willing to take that step. 

Maybe in the future, the distant future, we’ll decide to do that one, but until then we’re just taking it one day at a time. We’re taking big steps other than that. He’s met my family, who approves of him just as much as they did Richard. And we had dinner with his parents last night. 

Both sides are hinting about grandchildren. Edward and I vetoed that one on the spot.


End file.
